Blog Induced Anxiety

I am scared to start a blog. Although I guess scared is a little overdramatic, and I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot here. I am questioning my choice to start a blog. I am anxious about starting a blog. I have been here at least two times previously, both of those times resulting in a blog. One was all about my time studying abroad in Rome and I loved it.

Old Bridge Gelato in Rome. Get there.

Old Bridge Gelato in Rome. Get there.

Then I got home and didn’t have any more gelato pics to share. So I transitioned to a fitness blogger. Because I love fitness, it’s true. I am getting my Masters degree in exercise physiology, so I had better love it. But I grew tired of feeling like it was a competition of who could run the most miles and also blog about it (self-inflicted competition, might I add…I love reading those posts). So Run Principessa got the boot.

Fast forward to my last year of undergrad. I was in my fifth year because of a pretty major major switch, and I was not. having. it. It was a rough year. I decided that when graduation finally came, I was sticking around until September, and then I was off on a Round the World trip by myself. Savings accounts were made. Too many hours were spent in Barnes & Noble’s travel section looking at pictures. A blog was designed, and Adventure Year was born.

And then shortly fizzled out when I got an offer for a Masters degree free of financial burden (from tuition, anyway). The trip slipped away, and so did all of the travel planning “material” I had been writing about. But, alas. Here I am again. Wanting to give this blogging thing another go. I miss connecting with the people. Twitter is fine and dandy but sometimes 140 characters is a bit limiting in the connection-making department.

So why am I questioning this? Because all of the “experts” tell you to start by being self hosted. And my decided name is already taken on wordpress.com anyway. So that means I have to pay money. Sure, it’s not a lot of money. But I do have a pile of loans that stare at me every time I log into mint.com. Seeing that you are worth negative dollars? Ouch.

Sunset on the beach in San Francisco.

Sunset on the beach in San Francisco.

I also don’t want to give up again. It’s always a confusing time when I decide not to blog anymore. I feel guilty for not posting as much as I “should.” Giving up on a fitness blog felt like I was a faker in my career choice. If I didn’t love it enough to blog about it, did I really love it?? (Spoiler alert: yes). I felt a little sad when I set off to be a travel blogger and then ended up staying put. At a time when Philadelphia and I were not getting along? This was not a good feeling.

Best view of Philadelphia!

Best view of Philadelphia!

Then there’s this tiny part of me that still cares if my “real world” friends judge me for my blog. And my heart knows that this is silly. But my head just can’t stop thinking and making up fake judgments. I guess this is what we call a Personal Problem.

The conclusion that I draw from all of this rambling: I may be a weenie.

However, if you are reading this (even if the only “you” is my mom), it means that two things have happened. 1) I decided to do it. Go me! And 2) you decided to click on my Twitter link. Or maybe even Facebook if I was feeling super brave. Go you! Maybe we can be friends!

This also means that this tidbit of inspiration is super effective. It’s called “How to Be a Blogger Without Losing Yourself,” check it out. You can thank Camille for giving me the push to try again.